I duct taped a scarf around her face. She did not like it. She whined. I wondered if it would even protect her and I also wondered if it did protect her, would she be too weirded out to shit? Even though she needed to shit? I wrapped my face in a scarf, my hands. I put those little doggy balloon shoes on her feet like I do in the winter when the salt stings the pads of her toes. I wish we had haz mat suits but do they even make those for dogs?
Outside, she circles and circles but the grass is choked with dust and she doesn’t shit. The air is thick, I can feel it through the scarf, dust clotting in front of my mouth, am I being poisoned? I scream: JUST SHIT. Eventually she does but it’s thin and red-brown and she whines and when we go back inside, I vomit. She tries to eat it but I don’t let her. I scrub it off the floor with a mop. It’s chunky and brown. I can hear my own heartbeat, it’s so quiet.