work/life

DEZ: I hate him!

BUD: Who?

DEZ: At work, he’s a tiny little bitch and he doesn’t wear a tie.

BUD: So–?

DEZ: Everyone wears a tie but him! The women wear fucking lady ties we wear ties it’s the company fucking culture but him? Christ no! And he replies all.

BUD: No.

DEZ: He fucking replies all and I just can’t—like how am I supposed to take him seriously?!

BUD: I don’t know

DEZ: How am I supposed to take his fucking critiques.

BUD: I think you just do.

DEZ: No! He’s a—I like want to actually talk to him? And be like it might be easier to y’know take you seriously if you weren’t such a—what’s a less condescending word than ‘moron’?

BUD: Uh…I think you have a lot to choose from.

DEZ: Well I can’t think of anything, really, that is both less condescending and accurate so.

BUD: That’s rough.

DEZ: It is!

BUD: The English language is really letting you down.

DEZ: Yeah. Yeah it really is.

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Bunker 6. Reconfigured.

MIKE: (softly) You know we should just call it.

DALLAS: (no eye contact) Yeah. Yeah.

Mike and Dallas walk over. They pick up three big bags. They sling them over their backs and walk away. The sound of rushing water starts quiet. Gets louder.

WYNONA: Hey. Where are you going with those?! HEY.

Dallas and Mike keep walking. Almost at the same time, Mina, Wynona, and Annie point and cock their guns.

WYNONA: Hey!

ANNIE: Wynona, are we—

WYNONA: Fuckers I’ll kill you.

MINA: Not yet. Just—

Dallas and Mike keep walking.

MAE: Annie?

MINA: Dallas. Dallas!

Dallas and Mike keep walking.

WYNONA: This is your last warning, Mike you cocksucker!

ANNIE: Who are we—

MINA: I don’t. I can’t. I can’t.

Mina drops her gun on the ground and crouches is next to it with her head in her hands, rocking back and forth. Annie lowers her gun, watching Dallas and Mike’s retreating backs in the distance. Wynona keeps her gun up, tensed to shoot.

WYNONA: (whispers) Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.

Annie takes Wynona’s gun gently. Sets it on the ground. Turns to Drake.

ANNIE: You’re useless.

Drake looks away. Annie shakes her head. She looks around. The water is getting very loud.

MAE: Annie, the water.

ANNIE: I know. (she makes a decision) Everybody pack up. Let’s go.

BUNKER 6. continued.

MIKE: (softly) You know we should just call it.

DALLAS: (no eye contact) Yeah. Yeah.

Mike and Dallas walk over. They pick up three big bags. They sling them over their backs and walk away. The sound of rushing water starts quiet. Gets louder.

WYNONA: Hey. Where are you going with those?! HEY.

Dallas and Mike keep walking. Almost at the same time, Mina, Wynona, and Annie point and cock their guns.

WYNONA: Hey!

ANNIE: We will kill you.

Dallas and Mike turn, guns also up.

MIKE: You ain’t gonna do that.

MINA: You fucking bastard.

Dallas doesn’t make eye contact.

Mina shoots him. Mike shoots his gun, Mae screams, Wynona and Annie shoot, mayhem.

Mike is shot, Dallas is shot, Wynona is shot, Mae is shot.

MINA: You. Fuck. Fuck you.

ANNIE: Mae!

Dallas sits up groaning. Mina shoots him again.

MINA: Fuck.

BUNKER PLAY 6. A Scene.

Dallas, Mina, Wynona, Mae, Annie, Drake, Mike (The Real Prepper). Everyone has guns strapped to their backs except Mae, who is carrying a knife but looks like she doesn’t really know how to use it for anything in particular. She follows close behind Annie. Drake sulks in a corner.

DALLAS: Did you see anything out there?

MINA: I told you I didn’t.

DALLAS: Anybody else?

MIKE: Who died’n made you ringleader, kid?

DALLAS: Mike!

Mike and Dallas clasp hands and do a complicated bro hug. Mina rolls her eyes.

MIKE: Mina.

MINA: Mike.

MAE: Water’s rising.

ANNIE: Shhh.

MIKE: What do we got for supplies?

MAE: Water’s rising.

ANNIE: Just wait.

DALLAS:  Coupla days of food. Six liters of water.

MAE: Annie!

Annie places her hand over Mae’s mouth.

MIKE: That’s not gonna do it.

Dallas looks around quickly at the group, assessing.

DALLAS: I know.

TV Guide

“Game Time: Friends Monopoly.” Available.

A quarter century after it finally finally finally finally there for you. Handbag, dinosaur, pizza. Of Course. Good. Good doctor wife fight place cop girls ironically.  Lamentable sameness. (fight, place, doctor) Lamentable sameness. Of course. Available.

 on Amazon dot com , fifty dollars. Could this be any cooler? Finally there for you. Good TV. “peak” shows. “peak.” “Peak” shows. “Peak.” Of course. Could this be any cooler? Originality only gets you so far. The word in them. “peak.”

The word “good” may have multiple or cleverly ambiguous meanings. Of course. “peak.” Could this be any cooler? Of course.

Basically it’s like this

Sara: Tell them that you’re busy.

Jen: No.

Sara: Tell them that you have something else planned.

Jen: I don’t have something else planned.

Sara: You said you’d spend the day with me.

Jen: And I did. It’s night now.

Sara: It’s early evening and the early evening is part of “the day”

Jen: I have plans, Sara. I’m’ sorry. We’ll spend another day together soon.

Sara:

Bored with that, start over

Sara: You’re a cunt, Jen.

Jen: Lick it, you’ll see

My Mom might read this, start over

Sara: I can’t talk to you.

Jen: Why not?

Sara: My mom might know.

Jen: So?

Sara: You don’t get it.

Jen: Clearly.

Sara: I need things to be ok with us.

Jen: That’s not going to happen if you don’t talk to me.

Sara: I mean with me and my mom.

Jen: oh.

We Don’t Have Those Anymore, Either

A thirst for adventure. A desire to be uprooted and wild. A desire for a return to traditional family values. Tradition (or are we making new traditions?). Class. Society (or are we building a new society?). (Who is ‘We’?). Prestige. Presidents. Monarchs. Priests. Lawyers.  Dog-Walkers. Landscape Architects. Sitcoms. Movie theaters. Professional athletes.  Professional dancers. Professional actors. Professional writers. Professional TV personalities. YouTube Stars. YouTube. Secretaries. College Professors. College. The American Dream (or is it something different now?). America (or is it something else now?). What’s the difference between gone and transformed? What’s the difference between memory and history and myth and dream?